I WON!!!

WOOHOO! I'm so excited! I won one of the give-aways from the other day. I;m getting an awesome holiday banner from Kristie over at Girlville http://mycraftcloset.blogspot.com/ I can't wait to hang it up! That, along with the beautiful snow that's falling today, are really helping put me in the Christmas spirit!

As if I needed another obsession

I have a rather addictive personality. I kind of fixate on things and don't do anything until I finish. Unfortunately, this does not extend to housework. It does include books, though. When I was in High School, I was into V.C. Andrews books. You know, the Flower in the Attic and such. I would borrow them from my aunt Tamie and the book wouldn't leave my side until it was finished. My mom implemented the "no books at the dinner table" rule as a result. I would lose entire days of my life because I was buried in books.

Well, thanks to my Sister-in-law Holly, I am buried in books again this week. It's not to the extent that it was when I was younger. Now I have responsibilities and "Mommy's reading a book" doesn't really cut it with 5 month olds, 4 year olds, or even 9 year olds. Regardless, I began The Twilight Series http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10183440 (I still can't figure out how to hyperlink here...tips on how to do that are welcomed) on Saturday after going to the movie with Holly. She's been reading these books over and over for a few months and I didn't really understand how she could ignore all of her housework and everything else in her life for these books...I get it now. I read Twilight from Saturday until Wednesday night. Then I started New Moon and finished it before bed last night. I read farily quickly, but I think I'm flying through these books at a speed I've never read before. And I'm not skim reading. I just can't wait to get to the next page, so I'm forcing my mind to tune everything else out (with the exception of the phone and my kids) so I can get them done. I started Eclipse this morning, but walked away after a few minutes. I had to check the bank balance and do some other things. It keeps creeping back into my mind, though. When Cadence goes down for a nap I'll probably sneek off to my bed again and lose myself in the world of Vampires and Werewolves again.



So, if you're looking for a phenomenal book to read, I highly recommend this saga. But consider yourself warned: your vacuum cleaner might be neglected for awhile while you finish them.

It's December already?

Wow. I know I think this every single year, but I'm in shock that it's December already. And yet, June seems like a distant memory. It's odd how time plays tricks on our minds.

So, since we've moved to Michigan, not much has happened. It's kind of the same old. Samantha has a new best friend here. Liz. She's a very nice girl and it's helping Sam not be so sad to leave "home". Tevin adores school and has made tons of friends. At 4 years old, we didn't figure he'd have any issues with that. Cadence is finally getting bigger. We had a little problem with my milk supply. I took her to the doctor here September 16 and she weighed 9 pounds, 11 ounces. I weighed her a couple weeks later and she was over 10 pounds. Then 2 weeks ago Monday we went to the doctor and she was down to 8 pounds, 14 ounces. Not good. We started supplementing with formula and a week later she was up to 10 pounds, 2 ounces. I just took her in yesterday and she's 10 pounds, 15 ounces! And we started her on rice cereal on Tuesday! She loves it. At one point, my silly sassy little girl grabbed the spoon from my hand and jammed it into her mouth. lol She gets frustrated that it doesn't refill itself. And she likes it thick, like the other 2 did. I'm hoping this helps her gain weight a little quicker without going through formula like it's going out of style. Man, that girl can drink. I'm thinking about contacting LLL to see if there's something we can do about my supply. I just can't seem to make enough. :(

In other news, I'm married to a slightly older man. He's now joined the decade ahead of me...the big Three-oh. Generally I save candles and signify 10's with a single candle. But for a big birthday like this, I thought it befitting that we put all 30 on there. He chose a pumpkin swirl cheesecake from Wal-Mart. It's very yummy. Generally I would have made an attempt to bake up a concoction of a cake and plague my family with it, but we didn't get home from Wisconsin until after 9:00 on Monday night. Bad weather kept us there an extra day. So store-bought it was. Doesn't it look good? And pre-cut. Who could ask for more? We had a pretty low-key celebration. We kept the kids home from school. We hadn't gotten home until late the night before and we're all kind of sick. Sam and I made him breakfast in bed around 10:30. We lazed around the house and then went to get our Christmas tree, went to his store to drop something off for his store manager, and ate at Red Robin. Then we came home, expressed thanks that the kids aren't tone-deaf, as I had laryngitis and didn't sound quite so pretty singing, and ate cheesecake. The kids were then off to bed and we sat around watching TV for awhile, then hit the sack. Such an exciting life we lead.

I guess other big changes have happened since we moved. For Sam's 9th birthday, we got her a dog. He's a little beagle. His name is Baxter, but we call him Roo'er. He roo-roo's all the time. He's probably about 8 years old and deaf. That's fun. We rescued him from a pound, where he was going to be put down 3 days later. It's been...challenging, we'll say, to have another adult male dog in the house. Especially an unneutered one. But he's sweet and we're adjusting to life with him. That's him next to my itty bitty baby before she gained any weight. He's a whopping 22 pounds. lol We love him even though he irritates us with his roo rooing all night and his marking of things like the garbage can. Blah. Hopefully getting him snipped helps that problem.

Since I've been trying to work on this post all day, I'm going to publish it now so it doesn't end up sitting unfinished for months like all the other posts I've started. *blush*

Give-away day!

Today while I'm not dragging my 5 month old in for a weight check at the same time as my 4 year old gets looked over to see if he has pinkeye; and when I'm not reading New Moon, the second book in the Twilight series; I am entering give-aways! http://sewmamasew.com/blog2/?p=650 It might take me all day, especially since I'm addicted to all the cute awesome crafty things. I get these ideas in my head of things that I'd love to do, but I'm short on time, motivation, and most of all talent.

I guess the biggest reason I'm posting this is to tell anyone that I might have the great fortune of winning that I'm not entirely sure what kind of contact info you get from my comment, but if I win your give-away and you were lead here by my comment, here I am. Comment away or e-mail me. :)

Hold the celery, please

I have very simple taste in food. I don't eat onions, hate green peppers, too much garlic doesn't agree with me, and I don't believe that you have to add "crunch" to tuna salad. Unfortunately, my mom doesn't share my belief in this.

Yesterday, my cousins had their annual around Labor Day party that celebrates the birthdays in their family that happen this month. I was dreading going simply because I hate getting ready for these things and dragging the kids. I am glad I went, though. It was nice to see everyone and have a day of relaxation and showing off the baby. :)

I've heard that it's different for other families or parts of the country, but we're pot luckers. It's kind of the unwritten rule that everyone will bring a side dish. This summer, I've settled into bringing ham rollups. Works for me. They're cheap and easy to make and they always get devoured. They're made of cream cheese, margarine, and cheddar cheese spread on ham slices and rolled up. Not the most nutritious, but they taste great and Tevin can eat them. Always a plus. My mom varies what she makes. At yesterday's party it was tuna salad. Another simple dish. Pasta shells, tuna, peas, cut up olives, and miracle whip. Unfortunately, she puts celery in it. Yick! Celery is just gross. It emits this taste with a nasty after taste. It adds a crunch, and when she uses really pale celery as she did yesterday, it is impossible to see to pick out. And she put SOOO much of it in! Apparently others agreed with my assessment, since there was a TON left over. I'm hungry for tuna salad and it seems silly to make more when there's a big bowl of it in my fridge. So I am picking out the celery. I haven't decided yet if it's worth the effort. It would be so much easier to eat if she would just leave the celery out to begin with.

Rat with wings

It's 2:52 am and I am not only awake, but awake enough to be typing out this story with the knowledge that I won't be sleeping for quite some time. Why am I awake at this ungodly hour, you ask...baby? No, the baby is soundly asleep in my bed. Older kids? Nope, they're in their respective beds also fast asleep. Well, then what would keep someone (who was falling over tired not 2 hours ago and knows she has to be awake in the morning) from her bed? The answer to that question entered my life 2 hours ago. A bat.

I was laying in bed lamenting over how Cadence had put herself on this nice little schedule of going to sleep between 8 and 9, sleeping for 4-5 hours, getting up to eat, and then going back to sleep for another 4-5 hours. She had gone to sleep around 8 last night, started stirring at 12:30. I fed her on one side, changed her diaper and got jammies on her, snuggled a little bit, and started feeding her on the other side. I was laying there reading my book for awhile to get my eyes tired and shut my mind off. I was just thinking that I was getting tired and was just going to finish the last 2 pages of the chapter when something HUUUUGE and black flew into my bedroom. At first I was hoping it was just a monster moth whose size was distorted by the fact that I was looking at it from the corner of my eye. As it swooped around my head, I realized that it was not. It was a bat. I threw the covers over my head and screamed. Well, more of a shriek, really. I watched it fly a bit, then my dog and cat ran into the room. Casey knocked it down. Good dog. I thought it was dead. It was laying there on the floor beside my bed. Casey jumped on the bed as if to say "there, taken care of. I've earned my place on the bed tonight." I knew that I needed to get the rodent out of my room, though. I watched as the cat started walking up to it and sniffing it. I yelled at her to get away. Even though she just had her rabies shot on Friday, I don't need to be taking any chances. I was just about to get out of bed and dispose of it when it STARTED FLYING AGAIN. I screamed again (this time it really was a scream) and ducked under the covers.

I grabbed the phone and dialed Matt. He didn't answer (it was 1:30 our time, 2:30 his time) but called right back. He had figured Tevin woke up and needed to talk to him. I practically yelled "there's a bat in our room!" That seemed to take a bit of the sleep from his voice and he asked me to repeat. "there's a bat in our room. I don't like bats! What do I do?" "Well, you can't kill it. Bats are a protected animal. That's what the guys said when we had one in the store." Protected, my ass! It's a vile little creature flying around in my bedroom. In my house. If I can figure out a way, the thing will die. I went over the situation with him. He said I should leave the room and sleep somewhere else. Uh...and where would that be? We co-sleep. That means Cadence sleeps with me. She won't sleep in her bassinette and we don't have the crib set up. The only other beds set up in the house are currently being used. Plus, our room is unable to be closed off due to there not being a door properly installed. I wouldn't sleep with a bat able to swoop around my head. I continued to try to figure out what to do while huddling under my covers sweating my butt off and shrieking every time I would look out and see the bat flying. The dog gave up and lay on the bed watching the show. Same for the cat. Cadence slept.

I decided Matt wouldn't be much help, so I told him I was calling my mom. I remember waking up several times in my youth to my mom screaming, doors slamming, and my dad telling me to just stay put, there was a bat in the house. I think my parents might to this day sleep with a tennis racket next to their bed. Unfortunately, I do not.

I dialed my parents' number. My dad answered. "There's a bat in my room!" I don't remember what he responded, but he didn't seem to be very sympathetic. My mom picked up the phone and sounded a bit more awake than my dad. I told her. She was much more helpful. She sympathized, as she hates bats, too. She also suggested leaving the room. I explained why that wouldn't work. She encouraged me to watch the bat to see its pattern. Well, I think Casey stunned it, so it wasn't really flying in a pattern. She came up with several plans that were all followed with "and then what?" She would tell me to open the window. And then what? Well, maybe it will go to the window. And then what...there's screens on them. Well, you could shut the window and trap it there. And then what? Well, it would sleep in the morning. And then what? You could get the screen off. Um, no. We continued with this until I looked once and the bat wasn't flying. Oh, crap. Where was it.

"Casey, where's the bat?" Oddly enough, the dog didn't answer. Didn't even do anything helpful like look at where the bat was. "Shasta...are you there?" Couldn't even find the cat. She was probably snacking. My mom suggested I shut the door. I looked at the door. "Ohmygod! It's on top of the door." It was laying on top of the door. Just laying there. I was afraid to move because that might get it flying again. But what could I do? I made Casey get off the bed. Bat didn't move. So I got the plan to shut the door, which would push the bat off the door and onto the floor, where I could cover it with the empty wastebasket and leave it there for Mom to deal with when she comes in the morning (she had plans to come help pack this week anyway). Alright. But was it dead or alive? I didn't want it to start flying at me. I got close to the door, wastebasket in hand. And I saw its ears move. "eeeeek! It's alive! Its ears moved!" My mom sounded like she was enjoying this just a little too much. Okay, so I'll open the window and take the screen off. "So when you get here in the morning there may be a screen on the front lawn. Bring that in with you." But I got the screen off and brought it into the room. Hey, protection! Yay. I got the flat sheet off the floor, covered myself with that, covered the baby with the comforter, and crawled to the edge of the bed. I put the phone down and nudged the door closed with the screen while I held the wastebasket. And I watched the bat wake up and start flying again. Another scream and plunged my head under the covers again. Now what? I was yelling at the bat to fly out the window, but it just wasn't. I picked the phone up and updated my mom on the situation.

I watched it fly, thinking about trying to swat it down with the screen. Then it flew out. Crap! Now it's loose in the house somewhere! Wait, but maybe it's in the baby's room. I could close the door and lock it in there! I got up and sure enough, there it was flying around in circles. Quickly, I ran over and slammed the door shut. Mom cautioned me to stuff something under the doorway so it couldn't crawl out. eeep! What about the top crack? And that hole in the door...does it go all the way through? "Well, then, get duct tape." Duct tape! Awesome idea! I ran downstairs and grabbed it. I taped the top and the bottom of the door, plus the whole in the door that I don't think goes all the way through but why would I risk it? Then I put some clothing in front of the bottom...just to be sure.

I'm hot, I'm sweaty, I'm tired, and there's a bat flying in my house. But there's no possible way I can sleep right now. I might even be up for the rest of the night. Some day I may look back at this and laugh, or maybe I'll just start sleeping with a tennis racket next to my bed. Just to be safe.

Why I get no packing done

AKA Tale of a tired housewife

Matt is in Michigan. He won't be home until August 22. He'll be coming home right after he closes on our house over there. And the following week we will be moving into said house. Given that this is only 2 weeks away, you'd think we would be pretty much packed, right? Uh, no. We got very little packing done before he left. Partially because of our nature of procrastination. Partially because we have a billion other projects in the works. And partially because it's nearly impossible to get anything done with a newborn around.

Enter reason #1 I get no packing done:

She's a baby. She's needy. That's her job. I'm fine with that. I didn't choose to have another child to make my life easier. I love snuggling with her. I love watching her learn about her new world. At the moment I became her mother, I loved her with such an amazing intensity, I'd do pretty much anything for her. So the fact that she demands to be fed at least every 5 hours and at most constantly...well, that accounts for the grand sum of 7 boxes I've packed in the last week.

I'm not suggesting that I spend all day every day feeding her. Or even that I've been home the entire week. In fact, I took Tevin and Cadence up to my parents' house from Sunday through Wednesday this week. My mom wanted to have some time with the "little kids" so we kept my niece Emily and nephew Ryan, too. We did fun things like pushing Cadence around in the doll stroller and playing "puppy dog" with the nerf football. I gotta say, when my son commits to being a puppy, he really goes all out.

Unfortunately, Tevin doesn't listen nearly as well as a puppy. He's hitting this horrible phase. I'll consider myself lucky that he's been an awesome kid who listens really well for the first 4 years of his life. Lately, though, he is suddenly being a preschooler. He's completely ignoring me, saying no, and getting sassy as can be. And driving me CRAZY.

Then there's Samantha. She got back today from Girl Scout camp. She said she missed us and was homesick the whole time. I'm trying to figure out why, then, she did little else but whine at me and fight with her brother all evening. She's at a tough age. She's old enough to know better, but still too young to care, as the saying goes. She's rebelling a bit because she doesn't want to move to Michigan. I can understand that. She's moving away from her friends and everything she knows.

She's also dealing with a bit of resentment over being the big sister. She doesn't know why she has to act her age and her siblings don't have to act her age.

The constant bickering, the repeating myself 100 times, the answering the cry of my baby by whipping out my boob...it's tiring. By the time I actually get the kids to bed I'm so tired there's no way I'm going to pack. As soon as I got them to sleep (the biggest miracle of the night is that Cadence is sleeping in my bed while I'm downstairs listening for her on the monitor) I made a yummy salad of spinach, feta cheese, almond slivers, strawberries, and raspberry vinaigrette. I got out a wine glass and poured myself a glass of Red Rose. And I popped in a movie.

In my defense, I did manage to get 2 big garbage bags full of trash from our room and I packed 2 boxes of my books while the kids were watching Alvin and the Chipmunks in there and Sam was holding Cadence. I have the sinking feeling that we'll be tossing things in boxes the week that we move. But can packing ever be as rewarding as a day at the childrens' museum followed by an evening of nursing and regaining my sanity?

I'm Supermom!

Okay, I'm nowhere near Supermom. If I were Supermom, I wouldn't be falling over completely exhausted before 8:30pm. But lately, partially out of boredom, partially out of avoiding packing, and partially out of guilt for not doing much with the kids while I was pregnant because I felt either really sick or really tired, I've been taking them to "fun places."

On Saturday afternoon, I decided I needed to get out of the house. I wasn't really up for a lot of activity, so I thought a movie would be fun. I packed up the 3 kids and we went to see Space Chimps. Not a bad movie, really. And the kids were great. Sam and Tevin had a little spat about which straw was which, but Cadence slept through the whole movie in the Snugli on my front. Tevin made it the whole movie without having to go potty (which would have necessitated dragging all 4 of us to the restrooms...shudder). We got home and I was feeling pretty proud of myself. I'd taken all 3 kids out. By myself. And we survived! I must try this again.

Sunday, I tempted fate and took them to the Childrens' Museum. We have a year membership which we paid $125 for back in March. I took Tevin to the museum once, and we used our membership to get into the St. Paul museum. But other than that, we hadn't used it. I figured it might be a good idea to do that. First, we went to eat at Tumbleweed. It sounded good to me and we don't have much food in the house (must go grocery shopping, we do have to live here another 3 weeks). The kids were wonderful at Tumbleweed. Then the museum. It was great for about the first hour. Then Cadence needed to eat. Now, I'm all for the rights of women to breastfeed in public. But my comfort level certainly doesn't include nursing where anyone can see. I'm pretty self-conscious and try to be as inconspicuous as possible. I was able to find a little area where the kids could play and I could sit in a corner and nurse her without anyone really being able to see. She was fed and we went to other areas. The kids were having disagreements about what they wanted to do. Then Cadence started to get fussy again. My back was killing me from carrying her around in the Snugli for 2 hours. I announced that we were going to leave. I promised that if they were good, we'd come back again sometime this week. Tuesday or Wednesday, I said. Reluctantly, the children followed me out the door. Not as complete of a success as the movie, but we all did survive.

Monday we laid around the house. Nights have been difficult around here, to say the least. Tevin's having a lot of reactions lately. I suspect he's getting a lot of hidden red dyes. In any case, he's been getting up at night. Not necessarily waking up. We think he sleepwalks. That's a story for another day, though. In addition to Tevin waking up, Cadence is doing what a 5 week old is supposed to do. She's been up at night also. So Monday was a sit around day. A much needed lazy day. Yesterday, my parents came over to help us around the house. Dad and Matt fixed the front door so it shuts easier and then put in the new storm door. My mom worked on sanding the ceiling of Cadence's room. I fed Cadence. Okay, not all day. I did some dishes and I made dinner. But a good portion of the day was spent feeding the baby. At least I was resting.

Today, there was very little rest. The children were very quick to remind me that it's Wednesday. And I promised them we'd go to the Childrens' Museum Tuesday or Wednesday. Since Tuesday had passed, that only left Wednesday. Today. Get up and go right now, MOM. After feeding Cadence well and showering, we made a trip to the bank to make a deposit and then grabbed lunch at the Hardee's Drive thru and headed to the museum. Another 2 hours of "fun". Sam volunteered for everything during the science demonstration. It was cute. They painted pictures, weaved a bit, played with Kinex, and then Cadence got hungry. Seeing a theme? "Cadence ruins all our fun! Why do babies have to eat all the time?" It seemed rather futile to point out that bigger children, especially mine, eat at least as often as the baby. The difference, of course, being that I don't have to expose my breast for them to eat. I found a corner where I was mostly secluded and let the children play with the wooden train set while I fed Cadence. Unfortunately, that didn't pacify her for long. When she was finished eating, she wanted to sleep. Which meant either I had to hold her (back hurt a lot by that point) or we had to go to the car and get moving. This time I was a bit more intelligent and didn't make any promises as to when specifically we'd come back. I just said that in the next 3 weeks while Daddy is gone to Michigan we'd definitely go back.

I guess the bright side is that we all came out alive from each outing. The downside is that right now it's nearly impossible to even raise my arm to pet my 3 year old "kitty Tevin". We really do have to get back to more reasonable bedtimes soon. School will be starting and we'll all have to adjust to it being an hour earlier there. For now, though, putting them to bed is more effort than I can muster.

I may not be Supermom, but I am Mom. That must count for something.

Hi, I'm Cadence

Hi, I'm Cadence! I'm 4 weeks old. My likes include eating, snuggling, and being nice and warm. My dislikes include waiting for food, sleeping in my bassinette, and being alone. I sleep lots, eat lots, and poop lots.

When I'm trying to eat Daddy's shirt, I open really wide. Like this:

My family loves me and agrees that I'm a keeper. :)

Time flies

Cadence is already 4 weeks old! Really, where does the time go? It feels like just yesterday I was taking a pregnancy test. And now she's been here for 4 weeks already. When I take a minute to think about it, I get really sad. I look at my children and I'm so proud of what they've become and are becoming. But I'm sad because I know the next time I blink, they'll be completely grown. Lately I find myself getting mad when I hear someone (usually Matt) say "grow up and act your age" or something of the sorts. I don't want them to grow up. I want them to stop growing up. I want them to stop learning about the horrors of the world. To be able to go back to trusting and knowing that there will always be someone to take care of them. Realistically, I know they have to grow up. That doesn't mean I have to like it, though. Or that I have to force them to grow up quicker. I really have to remind myself that time is precious and goes way too fast. I *can* wait until they're older. I just wish I could wait a little longer.

Quick funny

see more pwn and owned pictures

Changes

This summer is the summer of changes for us. We're making probably the biggest changes possible. We've lost a "family member", we've added a family member, Matt's work schedule changed, Matt's job is going to change, and we're moving out of the state. These changes are affecting the family in very different ways.

Backing up, I'll clarify some of our changes. The "family member" we lost was our dog, Sage. Thankfully, she didn't pass away, but rather, we had to find a new home for her. Sage was our German Shepherd. In October of 2005, we got her from a family that couldn't keep her. They were getting a divorce and having a very large dog with so many unknowns in their lives just wasn't working for them. She has been an excellent companion to our other dog, Casey, for nearly 3 years. They loved to play together: wrestling, tugging, running around the neighborhood, eating garbage...all the things dogs love to do. She's a gorgeous, obedient, lovable 110 pound dog. The only problem we had with her is that she was kind of jumpy. Not jumpy in the sense that she would jump on people, although she occasionally did that, too. Imagine 110 pounds of huge beast jumping at you. Frightening and funny at the same time. What I mean is that although a very gentle and loving dog, she got scared easily and her instincts kicked in. Once a few months ago, Tevin came in to the living room crying that Sage had bit him. He had a scratch on his forehead. I didn't know if he was being completely truthful or even knew what happened. It looked more like a scratch from claws than from teeth. We were more cautious after that, but still couldn't watch him all the time. Then, right before Memorial Day, he was playing dinosaurs. He was walking up to Sage making growling dinosaur sounds. What I speculate happened was that he stepped on her tail or paw, because she yipped and then nipped at him. This time, she got his nose. That was the point that we could no longer deny that she needed to find a new home. I cried SO much in those few days. It was so difficult knowing that we had to get rid of her, but we knew it had to be done. Thankfully, the story does have a happy ending. The people we got her from had gone through their divorce. I had kind of stayed in touch with Lori, the "mom". Her daughter is the same age as Samantha. When I told her that we had to find a new home for Sage, she said that now that things have settled down, she might be able to take her back. The following week, after a visit with the new roommate and dogs, Sage went back to her first home. It was bittersweet. I had always kind of felt like Sage was their dog in a way. Giving her back to people that I knew would take care of her and love her and accept her quirks was much easier than giving her to strangers. The last I heard, Sage was happy in her new/old home. And we're down to just 2 fuzzballs...Casey and Shasta. I think Shasta's happy to not be chased around the house anymore. And, although Casey is lonely sometimes, he does like the benefit of being the only dog getting pet. And the only dog eating the dog food. He's gained quite a bit of weight in the last couple months. Hopefully, after we move and I'm recovered a bit more from childbirth, we'll add more walks into our routine.

Adding the new family member, I've talked about. Miss Cadence will be 3 weeks tomorrow and is doing pretty well. She still loves to eat. She's having a bit more awake time lately, although she still wants to eat whenever she's awake. She sleeps well, although she likes to snuggle up with us more than she likes to be alone in her bassinette. When we're tired at night, I usually just give up and let her sleep with us. Thankfully, it seems Matt and I were both built for co-sleeping. He's generally acutely aware of where everyone/everything is in the bed with us even when he's in deep sleep. I don't move a muscle when my children are little and sleeping in bed with us. I toss and turn like crazy any other time, but when we're co-sleeping I'm very still. To the point where I wake up stiff and sore every morning. But I guess it's better than being awake all night with a baby that won't sleep because she doesn't want to be alone. Her bilirubin also started dropping when she was a week old. We had to have her heel pricked one more time last week, but all is good and we're done with that. Her skin is looking a more healthy color and the whites of her eyes are very nearly back to white from the yellow they've always been. We're not sure on the color of her irises yet. Some days they look like they may change to brown, others they look like they may stay blue. I'm not so secretly hoping that they stay blue. Sam has brown eyes, Tevin has blue. Matt has brown eyes and I have blue. I'd like a blue eyed girl and for our fourth child I'm ordering a brown eyed boy. lol It doesn't work that way? Oh, well, I can hope, right?

Matt went back to days last week. It's been an interesting week. I think I'm handling it much better than expected. We are generally 5-10 minutes late every morning, but I don't think that has anything to do with the third child. It's more just my nature. I'm a procrastinator, so I wait until the last possible minute and then invariably the older kids dawdle and we don't get out the door on time. Tonight he's covering one night for the overnight manager. It will be interesting not having him around for the first night since Cadence was born. I just hope Tevin doesn't wake up. That's the challenge. I can't feed her and comfort him at the same time. I'm sure we'll live, though.

We're going to Michigan tomorrow to look at houses and get aquainted with the area. I really hope we find a house. We can't afford the time nor the money to go there again before we move. And in 3 weeks, Matt will officially be a co-manager in Michigan. Yikes!

Tevin isn't taking the life changes well. I guess I'm not sure if it's the stress or the age, but he's been SO sassy lately. He's talking back to everyone, not listening, hitting Samantha...blah. But then he'll turn it off and he's my sweet boy again, apologizing for being naughty. I hope when life settles a bit he gets better. Sam has actually been better for the most part. It really makes me consider homeschooling her. I guess we'll see what area we move to. If we move to a crummy school district, I very well might look into homeschooling. One step at a time, though.

It's a good thing this baby was born in the summer. She loves to be warm. Really warm. At night she cuddles up to me so close that I wake up in a full body sweat every single morning. If her feet are cold, she cries. However, she won't keep a blanket on. She kicks out of even the best swaddles. She's still drowning in the vast majority of her clothes, so she has lots of space to move around and get all knotted up in them. She wiggles all the time. Looking at her, I can see from the outside exactly what she was doing to my insides. And probably the most amazing thing is that she wasn't even due until 3 days ago. I could very well have still been pregnant with her. Amazing.

Tevin loved to be warm. Sam hated getting too warm. They're still that way. Sam will wear shorts whenever we let her. It hits 40 degrees in the spring and she's pulling out the tank tops. Tevin wears jeans in 80 degree weather. I guess when you have children who are night and day, your third is bound to have some characteristics of the other 2.

On pins and needles

AKA: More moving stress

Today Matt *officially* officially accepted the position. As in, got the salary verified and they are sending paperwork for him to sign and send back. They wanted him to start on July 19. haha His market can't release him until August 2, though, so that's when he'll start there. They're apparently still trying to work something out to get us out there for a week so I can look for houses and he can "gain a presence in the store" whatever that means.

I'm currently waiting by the phone/computer for word back from the mortgage lender. I called the corporate relocation lender and put in an application yesterday. She had to send it through underwriting and said she'd put a rush on it. I just called a little while ago and she said that the underwriter has is now and is working on it. She said she'd call or e-mail me when it's finished. This is what our house hunting is hinging on. We need to make sure we can get another mortgage over there. If we can't, then we'll have to start looking for a place to rent. Not easy with a big moose of a dog.

Besides that, Cadence is being rather clingy today and if I try to lay her down somewhere and get up, she starts crying. She's also not to fond of the sling. So we're laying in bed alternating between me just being very close to her and nursing her. Which, of course, means that I'm not getting any packing done. I'm having visions of the last 6 times we moved, where someone else just shoved things in boxes and I never did get them all unpacked.

Moving stress

Matt has been applying and interviewing for his promotion since last March. Nearly 16 months after beginning, he was offered a position. This turned last week into the most hectic week of my life. Baby, anniversary, job...my head is spinning.

I'm not worried about moving. I'm actually kind of excited for a fresh start. I feel really trapped in this house, and every spare second we've had has gone into doing some kind of remodeling or home improvement. It's tiring. I'm excited to have time to unpack things and put them where I want them...for the next 2 years. After 2 years, we will move on and Matt will get his own store. I really want to get into a home that we don't have to put quite so much work into. Best of all, we're moving very close to Amy Johnson, an awesome person and the most extraordinary photographer in the world!

But this is a huge whirlwind. We have to sell this house, but listing it is impossible until we actually get some of the in progress projects done. We have to find a new home. There's lots of foreclosures in that area, so finding a relatively cheap house should be easy enough. But our credit sucks, so getting the mortgage is really questionable. I'm not sure how we're going to swing that one. Matt's going to be starting there relatively soon. We need to move before school starts, obviously, and I don't want to be paying for a hotel room for him to live in. I'd like to just move into the home we're going to live in before he starts working. It seems like all the people he needs to talk to at work are taking vacations, and we don't even have the formal written offer.

I know it will all work out. It has to. We won't be homeless. We'll figure something out. But I hate living with all the unknowns.

The difference between children

Today I was realizing how parenthood is different from one child to the next. Samantha was pretty sheltered as a baby and toddler. She didn't get to go to Chuck E Cheese until she was 2 or 3. She was 6 1/2 when we went to Disney World for the first time. She was allowed much less TV and didn't really get out much.

Tevin was 1 1/2 when we went to Disney World. At a month and a half old, he went to a movie in the movie theater (Sam wanted to go see Shark Tale for her birthday and I was nursing Tevin, so he came with). I'm sure he went to Chuck E Cheese while he was still in his infant carrier. Even on the way home from the hospital, we stopped at Toys R Us to quick pick something up.

And then there's Cadence. She's been to Wal-Mart about 6 times in her 9 day life so far. She's eaten approximately 10 of her meals in the car, been fed in 2 changing rooms, slept through 2 meals at restaurants, and made the full loop around the outlet mall. Today we went to the zoo and rode on the little train. And a little girl walked up and asked to touch her on the arm. I didn't even blink an eye, just said yes, but to please not touch her with the stick that was in the little girl's hand. I hardly think twice about where we need to go. It's just a given that at this point, she'll come along. If she needs to eat, I'll sit in the car or find somewhere to feed her. I'm more comfortable nursing where people can't see me. Perhaps that will get better as time goes on. With Samantha, there's no way I would have fed her in a changing room or the car, and Tevin ate exactly once in a secluded booth at a Perkins restaurant. I was paranoid that people were watching the entire time. Now I just make sure that I'm covered to my comfort level and smile when people stare. I do draw the line when Tevin tries to take pictures of Cadence while she's nursing. I never thought I'd have to say "don't take a picture of my boob", but I say it probably 5-10 times a day.

I think the trade-off for dragging the poor second and third children around is that I appreciate them more. The times when I can just sit and snuggle or feed Cadence are so precious, whereas with Sam I just sat and thought about what other things I could be doing. With Tevin, I tried to get him to sleep in his bassinette so he didn't get used to sleeping in my arms. The only reason Cadence gets put down is because I get so darn warm holding her. I realize that I may never be blessed with another baby, so I have to cherish the moments I get with the ones I have. But I wouldn't limit my increased appreciation to just the baby. I'm also learning that stages are so short. I'm learning and trying to get Matt to learn that we need to lighten up. So the ice cream is going to make them sticky and get everything messy...it will clean. They got shaving cream all over the bathroom while doing their shaving cream pictures...it will wipe up. The used 5 sheets of paper to make a card just to tell us how much they love us...a bit wasteful, but I'd rather have them express that love than to make them think we don't care. We're getting better. Last night Matt was going to get ice cream from the ice cream truck. That's something I have never done because it's so expensive. But why not? What's a couple bucks to see the joy on the kids' faces? (we didn't get any because the truck never came down our block...booo) Samantha stayed up until midnight the other night watching a movie with us.

It's okay to treat our children differently, because they are different. Hopefully they'll realize someday that we weren't playing favorites, just doing what we thought was best at the time.

In Love

A parent's love for their child(ren) is a strange and interesting thing. We go through 8-9 months of pregnancy, where we get sick, irritable, fat, and it ends in some of the most extreme pain possible. We get this tiny little wrinkled creature that squeaks and grunts and does horrible things to nipples and diapers. Then they grow up. They talk back and demand things and cost us more money than we even thought possible. Yet, we love them and continue to have more.



Every time I watch my 8 year old daughter on the monkey bars, or reading a book, or playing cars with her brother, I feel love. Every time my 3 year old son gives me a big hug and kiss, or lectures me on which car is which, or cheers me on as I transform one of his Transformers, I feel love. And every time my 6 day old daughter looks around in total wonder, or snuggles up peacefully for a nap, or opens wide and chomps down on my nipple, I feel love. Maybe it's the hormones, but when I see the 3 of my children together it brings a tear to my eye.





I love the way Samantha says she's magic because she can make the baby stop crying. I love the way Tevin has to know at every moment in time where the baby is. I love that this morning when I told Tevin that Samantha was coming home today from her weekend at Grandma & Grandpa's house, he was most happy because "now I can say sorry that I hit her in Wal-Mart yesterday." (he hit her while we were in the store Thursday and he feels really bad about it now.)



When I got pregnant, I never knew how much love a mother could feel. Then I had Samantha and knew that my life would never be the same. When I got pregnant with Tevin, I didn't know how I could possibly make more room in my heart for him. But he was a boy, and has a personality totally different from Samantha. It was so easy to have separate but equal love for them. And then Cadence. I already had my headstrong girl and my sweet, sensitive boy. I already felt like I didn't have quite enough time for both of them. How would a third baby fit in? And then I saw her for the first time and I was hooked.






She's just so sweet, and in a few short days I have learned so much about her. I love it when she looks around wide-eyed. When she flings herself into feeding position and starts sucking on everything she can get her mouth on. Even the way she goes from perfectly happy (or asleep) to screaming like the world is ending in just a few seconds. Babies are such amazing little miracles.

I was a bit worried about how she would change our lives. After nearly 4 years of being a family of 4, adding another just seemed like it would disrupt our balance. But it hasn't. She has enhanced our family and made us closer in so many ways. I love my family and my new baby girl.

A very traditional anniversary

Yesterday (the 24th) was our 9th anniversary. We celebrated in a very traditional way.

We had a romantic dinner for two:



Sexy lingere: (for those who might not know, those are lovely mesh panties)


He brought me chocolate:


We had flowers:


And then, of course the gifts. I still don't know who did better with their gift. He got his promotion, which he's been working very hard for the last 7 years to get. It's a huge raise and means that we're moving to Muskegon, MI!

My contribution to the anniversary arrived a day early. I worked hard for 8 months and then went through 13 1/2 hours of labor.



Miss Cadence Leia Anderson was born at 9:51am on June 23. She weighed 7 pounds, 1 1/2 ounces and was 19 inches long. She made her arrival 2 weeks early, but is perfectly healthy and gorgeous!

I can't say that I've ever spent an anniversary in the hospital, nor have I ever really wanted to. Still, it's going to be difficult to ever top the excitement and joy from this anniversary.